well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
