Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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