I'm eating all of the evidence.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
