dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
