I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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