I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
