I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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