I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
