ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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