Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
