We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
