I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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