I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
