this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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