so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
