How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
