I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
