Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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