Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
