Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
