Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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