ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The best revenge is premature balding
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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