you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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