awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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