I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
