the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
