So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
