More tranny stories later!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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