I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
its liver damage thursday
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
