i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
