i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
