I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
