Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
