everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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