do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
