you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
