She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
