just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
