Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
