he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
