i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
