Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
