I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
