This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
