listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize