I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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