So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
