like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
