Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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