I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
