Apparently you make a good broom.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize