new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
