:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
