kristin has been a bad kristin
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
