her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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