My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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