Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
